(no subject)

You’ll notice I didn’t post a Christmas recap yet….

It’s a seldom discussed subject. On the holidays we are supposed to be joyous, sociable, in addition to working our butts off to put on a great party and a table full of food for company. The pressure to be so happy, can often lead to unhappiness. I cannot tell a lie: this was not the best Christmas I have ever had.

For months and months, I have not been feeling my best. Mentally and physically, troubles with emotions and food have dominated my life and, as much as I would have liked to, you just can’t “fix” yourself for an “extra special” day. Christmas is just another day. I have recently enlisted the help of a therapist, and slowly but surely we will work through the issues that plague me.

This blog being public, I don’t always feel comfortable posting open feelings or struggles on the web. But it’s hard to have it not taint the core message of my blog! If I want to show off a meal, I’m afraid it may be viewed as too small or too big. And posting pictures of myself just put my face and body up for scrutiny. However, in the new year I want to be honest. Perhaps my struggles can benefit someone else in some small way.

Tomorrow will be New Year’s Eve. Just another day, but for billions around the world the new decade is a new dawn. In years past I have written pages of resolutions, from writing books to losing weight to committing myself to still be alive by 2100! This year though, instead of writing down my extensive list of aspiring projects, I have but one: to learn to love myself. Oh, and to create a kick-butt blueberry bagel, but that’s is another story. I figure if I am loving and accepting of myself, it will make mending relationships and other matters all the easier.

This year for Christmas I didn’t want much (“you can’t top my camera” I told my parents). But nonetheless, I did want a couple of VEGirl kitchen ‘essentials’:

There are many gluten items I have missed since going GF, but blueberry bagels are at the top of the list. Ever time I walk in the grocery store and smell the bread isle, I want to cry! I finally have the means to fix that though, with the above glorious donut pan! Woo-hoo!

Also received my favorite cookbook. No more library check-outs, and chocolate chip cookies abound.

This was quite a pleasant surprise. With three rabbits and a rat housed in my small bedroom, the stench can get a bit… ripe at times. My grandma saw this and thought of me, and thank goodness for it!

Some other holiday highlights:

A feisty Christmas eve cat.

Some curious rabbits. (They were quite intrigued by the flying paper!) (ps: I also got a yoga mat of my very own. See it in the photo?)

And, for my bike, a luggage rack. It took me a minute of awkward silence to figure out what it was, but I was delighted once I figured it out!

My sister is obsessed with drinking out of straws, so I decided to get her a glass drinking straw from Stawesome. (She is currently delighted and infatuated with it). I loved them so much I decided to give myself one as well! They are excellent, break-resistant, and so eco-friendly!

And what made me most joyful of all, my favorite buddy got to come for Christmas.

I know I’m a bit late getting a Christmas post up, but how what all your Christmases? Also I hope y’all have a happy new year! I’ll let you know about those blueberry bagels (I bought some special frozen blueberries today for them…. I am getting so excited!). I think I may try to invent them on new year’s day… a new recipe for a new year!

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5 Responses to (no subject)

  1. Kiki says:

    I’m sorry your Christmas wasn’t the greatest, dear. But you should be exceptionally proud of yourself for beginning therapy and even hinting at your confidence issues on your blog. When I had a ED/depression recovery blog, I found it quite helpful to discuss my problems where everyone could read and comment on them, but then again I’m not you. Do what you feel comfortable with… if you don’t want to show food pictures or talk about your struggles, don’t do it. I have a feeling that as you grow through therapy you’ll become more confident and maybe even want to share more about yourself here, but in the meantime don’t rush yourself and know that blog land will be here to support you no matter what!

    And Happy New Year!

  2. It’s brave of you to be this honest! Every other blog posted about a delightful Christmas but that doesn’t always work out. Good for you for posting this!
    I can’t wait to hear about that recipe 🙂

  3. And I almost forgot, Happy new year! Have a great one 🙂

  4. Pingback: Oh Baby, Those are Some Good Buns |

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